Theory of Relativity

I feel numb. And not at all as numb as I think I’m supposed to feel. Feelings these last two days are weird. Strange. They are… a human experience I’ve felt before but never believe I’m supposed to feel again. Knowing though, I will.

I’m supposed to be celebrating the final push of projects and grades that took my child to a place where tomorrow it’s his last day of school. Before summer break.

I’m supposed to be coming out of our shell of pandemic and embracing people and plans and a whole different school year by next fall perhaps.

I’m supposed to be feeling all the relief of a day’s worth of broadcasting and a great ratings “book”. I’m supposed to be feeling inspired to work and write and set up our pool. After a long hard winter and finally a breather to manage some sort of routine schedule.

And I woke up this morning, with my child by my side, because I couldn’t bear falling asleep last night with him not in my arms. As I tried not to cry.

I was in my earliest years of my career when Columbine took the lives of children. I broke the news live. I remember thinking I might never have to do that again. Because it was… so shocking.

That was 1999. I was younger. I was naive. No appreciation for the reality that every conversation we had then would become a wonder twenty five years later about if we should feel numb or not.

I promoted concert tickets on the air today. I promoted weather apps and that it was National Wine…